January 2012
39 posts
“We can either settle for a country where a shrinking number of people do really well while a growing number of Americans barely get by, or we can restore an economy where everyone gets a fair shot, and everyone does their fair share, and everyone plays by the same set of rules.”
—President Obama (via azspot)
Transcript of tonight's Republican debate.
- MODERATOR: Hi. Here we are again. Let's get right to it and start with Speaker Gingrich. Sir, please don't get mad tonight.
- GINGRICH: No.
- ROMNEY: Freddie Mac! Resigned in disgrace! I'll release my 2012 taxes after I'm President! (Smarmy laugh.)
- PAUL: Why am I here?
- SANTORUM: I still hate gay people. And I'm still a huge dick. Look at my sweater vest! Obama's a Muslim!
- MODERATOR: Does anyone here have anything of substance to offer?
- GINGRICH: I hear Santorum is some sort of substance.
- (All laugh. Except Santorum, whose wife runs onto the stage.)
- MRS. SANTORUM: Don't pick on my husband! He just hates gay people!
- MODERATOR: Security, please escort Mrs. Santorum off the stage.
- ROMNEY: I pay Cayman Islands offshore taxes investments Bain Capital, uh, universal healthcare reform no, Obama must go!
- PAUL: Why am I here?
- SANTORUM: Still with the hating of the gay people. Sweater vests! (Takes off shirt.)
- MODERATOR: Thanks all. We're going to commercial and when we come back, I'm going to ask the candidates, "Why even bother?" Stay tuned.
